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Dear Santa

I love Christmas. I think about all those (potentially) wonderful presents, seeing family and friends and all the rituals and celebrations, both pagan and religious.  However, New Year, always makes me feel guilty - all those New Year resolutions to be made, which typically are the same as the year before.  It made me wonder what Father Christmas goes through each year!

He must have his New Year resolutions list, something like this: 

Weight:  Too much and getting worse each year.  Aim to get into shape so that no chimney is a problem for me....HO HO HO!

Must cut out alcohol and reduce carbohydrates.  Must do some exercise...but what? Realize that I don't do much exercise, all year round and eat too much food with with high sugar/fat content. Make a note: Get cholesterol level checked.

Alcohol: Too much in just one night. Get a better balance (better than cutting out! Delete point above) - try not to drink the rum eggnog left out for me, especially during working hours. Seems some places in the world now have a limit on what you can drink and still drive? Pour eggnog on the fire under the chimney and resist temptation.

Food: Start giving the reindeers the carrots instead of eating them myself - although my eyesight does seem great. Hmmn sometimes gets a bit blurry towards the end of Christmas Eve; too much eggnog? Unsure. Book trip to optician! And take all the sweet mince pies home and get Mrs. Christmas to put in the deep freeze. Limit to one sweet mince pie per night for the rest of the year. Make a note: Give more food to the elves, instead of a pay rise.

Job Change: Done this work for as long as I can remember - Go to a life coach and check out what other options I have?  Fed up with all the soot, squeezing into chimneys and the elf's always moaning about overtime and the bloody cold North Pole. Also, get fed up meeting people on my visits, who seem surprised I actually exist - getting a bit of an identity crisis.  Maybe as well as life coach, book a visit to a psychologist?

However, I do love meeting all the kids and seeing their smiling faces and the job does give me quite a bit of satisfaction and free time?  And the eggnog is particularly delicious............Make a note: review resolution list!

PS: Have a fun time over the winter break and a Happy New year.

printed in The Bridge, December 2009.

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